social-media-companies,-here-are-some-free-theme-park-ideas-to-comply-with-florida’s-deplatforming-law

Social media companies, here are some free theme park ideas to comply with Florida’s deplatforming law

The Verge is deeply invested in doing service journalism; we report on companies’ misdeeds, we review expensive products to tell you whether they’re worth your hard-earned money, and speak to industry leaders to get their insights on the issues affecting their companies and their customers.

It is in that vein that we brainstormed some ideas for social media theme parks in Florida.

See, the Sunshine State passed a law this week that blocks social media platforms like Facebook and Twitter from “knowingly” deplatforming politicians and even algorithmically ranking content, with fine ranging from $25,000 to $250,000 per day (The law, which is a mish-mash of broad speech regulations, has already been challenged in court by the tech companies’ trade organizations, which called it “a frontal assault on the First Amendment.”)

But there’s an easier way. The law has a hilariously corrupt exemption for any company that owns or operates a theme park or large entertainment complex in the state of Florida. Republican state Rep. Blaise Ingoglia said that exemption was included so that the Disney Plus streaming service “isn’t caught up in this.” The Disney World park in Orlando brings in significant tax revenue for Florida, of course, a state which relies heavily on tourism dollars.

So all Twitter, Facebook, TikTok et al have to do to comply with the law and avoid the knotty First Amendment issue of government speech regulations is build their own Floridian theme parks.

Here are our suggestions for the parks including some ideas for appropriately themed rides that the venues might offer:

Twitterland

  • Has a secret nightclub called Slides
  • Sells drinks called Canoes
  • The Ratio is a dunk tank where you get dropped into water for your bad takes
  • Whac-A-Mole is instead Block-A-Troll
  • A water-themed ride where you’re sailing along and random guys try to pull you into the water: Reply Guys, the ride
  • Rollercoaster goes sideways

The only problem with Twitterland is that it keeps opening amazing rides and then letting them completely fall apart.

Facebook World

  • All the rides suddenly pivot to video without warning
  • A haunted house attraction called Facebook Moderation
  • Instagram and WhatsApp once had separate parks, but they have been annexed into the main Facebook park and turned into shopping malls
  • The water park has a slide into radicalism
  • If you get detained by security, they put you in the Racist Uncle Time Out Room
  • An Instagram hall of mirrors that features mirrors that give you an Insta-ready body with lighting made for photos and then leaves you feeling terrible when you come to the last mirror, which has heavy shadows for lighting and no body editing whatsoever

TikTokLand

  • A hall of mirrors that shunts you through random rides with absolutely no information or warning, gradually tuning your experience using the sophisticated biometric monitor in your admission wristband
  • Alternately, the whole park is just the set from the Weeknd’s Super Bowl halftime show where a Backyardigans song plays on a loop

Pinterest Park

It’s just a bunch of themed photo booths that produce those little photo strips, but you have to wait in line and read 200 words before you can ride the Recipe Rollercoaster.

The GooglePlusPlex

  • A giant haunted house which closed eight years ago but high school kids still break into at night
  • The entire park littered with discontinued Google products

Clubhouse Clubhouse

It’s just one big infinity room where you enter and hear men talking at you and over each other about Bitcoin.

Reddit Faire

A Renaissance fair that ended up sharing its property lease with a prison, thanks to an awkward misunderstanding in the C-suite. Many guests are incredibly devoted cosplayers in delightful historically accurate costumes. Many are petty criminals. A few are serial killers. Try to guess which ones!

YouTubeLand

  • Has a ride where you appear to climb higher and higher forever, but then perilously fall to Earth after a botched apology
  • To enter the park you have to smash the like button
  • The Thumbnail Ride promises nonstop conflict but is really just a pretty chill afternoon
  • Every ride is at least 10 minutes long so it can include a midroll break
  • If you make a wrong turn at the bathrooms, you’ll occasionally run into an off-brand superhero ride that ends in a spike pit. No one knows who paid for or designed these rides, but children find them inexplicably compelling
  • You can’t leave unless you ring a bell, and then you will be sent notifications reminding you to return to YouTubeLand for the rest of your life
  • Really big and expensive and in many ways the gold standard for all the other parks, but no one appears to be in charge at all?

Snapchat Studios

  • Rides disappear after you go on them once
  • All the vending machines sell Spectacles, but no one buys them
  • Unfortunately the park’s been kind of struggling because all its best rides get cloned by Facebook World within six months
  • Temporarily closed because it accidentally opened another racist ride
marvell’s-new-pcie-5.0-ssd-controllers-have-14-tb/s-of-throughput

Marvell’s New PCIe 5.0 SSD Controllers Have 14 TB/s of Throughput

(Image credit: Marvell)

Marvell has introduced the industry’s first SSD controllers for NVMe 1.4b-compliant drives that will feature a PCIe 5.0 x4 interface. The Bravera SC5 controllers are designed primarily for bandwidth and performance-hungry servers used in cloud data centers. They will provide up to 14 TB/s throughput as well as up to 2 million random read IOPS, with the former being two times faster than today’s fastest PCIe 4.0 SSDs. Marvell’s new controllers have already gained support from various industrial partners, including AMD, Intel, Facebook, Microsoft, and Renesas. 

Marvell’s Bravera SC5 family includes two controllers: the eight-channel MV-SS1331 and the 16-channel MV-SS1333. The controllers have absolutely the same functionality and performance specifications: up to 14 GB/s sequential write speed, up to 9 GB/s sequential write speed, up to 2M random read IOPS, and up to 1M write IOPS. 

The MV-SS1333 with its eight 1600 MT/s NAND channels will power SSDs with higher capacity. It is noteworthy that the MV-SS1333 is the industry’s first 16-channel controller that comes in a 20x20mm form factor and can be used for EDSFF E1.S (“Ruler”) SSDs.

(Image credit: Marvell)

Like other modern high-end SSD controllers, Marvell’s Bravera SC5 are fully-fledged system-on-chips (SoCs) packing serious compute performance and special-purpose accelerators. The Bravera SC5 family uses Arm’s Cortex-R8, Cortex-M7, and Cortex-M7 cores, yet Marvell hasn’t disclosed the exact core count. A hardware-based SLA enforcer accompanies the CPU cores to minimize server CPU utilization. The silicon also has DMA controllers, firmware accelerators, a dedicated security engine (FIPS root-of-trust with AES-256 and TCG Opal compliant), and a NAND flash controller featuring the company’s 5th Generation NANDEdge LDPC engine. 

(Image credit: Marvell)

Marvell’s new controllers featuring the NANDEdge v5 LDPC engine can work with any type of 3D NAND, including SLC, MLC, TLC, and QLC from any vendor, including Kioxia, Micron, Samsung, SK Hynix, Western Digital, and YMTC. 

(Image credit: Marvell)

The main selling points of Marvell’s Braver SC5 controllers are dual-port PCIe 5.0 x4, NVMe 1.4b, and extreme performance. Meanwhile, the SoCs allow manufacturers to build one SSD model for different usage models, including NVMe, SEF, ZNS, and Open Channel. Customers can also use the controller to build drives in various form factors, including E1.S, E1.L, E3, and U.2. Marvell is also especially proud of its new controllers’ relatively moderate power consumption: the MV-SS1331 consumes up to 8.7W, whereas the MV-SS1331 consumes up to 9.8W. 

“There are many data center technology challenges. These include the need for PCIe 5.0 for performance scaling, E1.S for density and serviceability, and OCP data center NVMe SSD support for product features. Marvell’s Bravera SC5 SSD controller family supports technology that enables next-generation hyperscale SSD use cases,” said Ross Stenfort, Hardware System Engineer, Storage, Facebook. 

Marvell is currently sampling the new controller with select customers. It is noteworthy that Marvell has already gained support from leading server platform developers and cloud datacenter operators, so it is logical to expect the adoption of PCIe 5.0 SSDS powered by Marvell’s Bravera SC5 controllers sooner rather than later. 

Keeping in mind that Intel plans to release its PCIe 5.0-supporting Xeon Scalable ‘Sapphire Rapids’ in late 2021 or early 2022, we can expect the first PCIe 5.0 SSDs to be available around the same time.